That word, say it clear now … L.O.V.E – love! I am not talking about the rockmelons song lovers, but I do want you to sing the word L.O.V.E to the skies. Self-love that is. Say it clear, say it loud, say it proud I LOVE me!
Okay, I’ll admit it feels a little strange and I don’t want you to start thinking I’m some egotistical weirdo so let me explain.
Remember that old saying before you can truly love someone else you must first learn to love yourself? It couldn’t be more true. So in the spirit of St. Valentine this week I want you all to share the message and encourage one another to sprinkle a little self-love over yourself like confetti!
Self-love isn’t one of those things that happen overnight, but it will happen if you work at it. Like all loving relationships in your life, it takes practice, it takes nurturing, it takes kindness and it takes patience. It is always evolving and you are forever learning about yourself and how to express your self-love.
In a world of public profiling and an image driven, consumer society (which I am a part of) it is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game and the feeling of not being good enough.
In a short amount of time you can go from hero to zero. Feeling you are on top of the world… Then you see a post from that beautiful human with the ‘charmed life’ that seems to have it all. You begin to feel like you’re not good enough. You start wishing you had a slimmer waistline, a thigh gap, your dream job, a better personality, blonder hair – perhaps if you purchased those shoes you saw last week your life would be complete … ummm STOP. Hammer time!
You are amazing! You are unique! You are beautiful! You have been put on this earth with your own talents, gifts and unique story to share with the world. Be proud of your journey, be proud of where you are in life and be proud of who you are!
Learn to love yourself for all of your beautiful flaws and all of your beautiful talents.
Here are five ways to pump up your self-love!
I have written a lot about gratitude in my recent posts. Perhaps it’s because I’ve stumbled across the one thing that can turn your life into one of feeling as though you don’t have enough – into a life that is complete with all you need and more! Just by shifting your attitude to Gratitude.
I find the best way to practice gratitude is to keep a journal. At the end of the day I take some time out to reflect, and I write one thing that I am truly grateful for. (You can write more than one if you like) There is something quite powerful about seeing the words written in front of you. Looking back through the pages reminds me of the wonderful moments, people and experiences I am given and it fills my heart with happiness.
Pump Yourself Up!
I am obsessed with positive quotes and mantras! I love finding positive messages to post on social media, to pin on my vision board and to remind me that your attitude can change a dreamer into a doer! But while striving for greatness it is also important to recognise the amazing qualities that already exist within yourself.
Each day choose one thing to say aloud that you love about yourself. It doesn’t have to be physical. It could be that you are an amazing friend or a fantastic mumma! Whatever it is, say it with conviction and believe it with every fibre of your being.
This is key. You have to believe it babes! You are a smart cookie remember? If you have spent the last 10 years proclaiming your hate for your figure, you aren’t going to believe yourself this week when you say you have a rocking bod that you love.
Start smaller – perhaps you love your body because of the amazing energy it gives you to be active every day. Or perhaps you love your womanly shape because it has allowed you to carry and nourish your beautiful children. Be real with yourself – this is not a fake it ’til you make it type thing.
Forgive yourself – the past is just that.
This can be a hard one… Saying goodbye to negative energy that you have carried with you for years is not an easy task. It’s confronting as all hell.
“Mistakes” sound like a dirty word and i prefer to not use it. I believe there is no such thing as a mistake but an opportunity. It is the universe allowing you an opportunity to learn and to grow as an individual. I make SO many mistakes, often my best ideas and my most wonderful opportunities and experiences have evolved from my “mistakes”. I used to have a HUGE fear of failure and making mistakes and not measuring up, but i am slowly learning there is no such thing. You determine your own successes by what you take away from the experience.
Ask yourself what you can gain from the experience aka “mistake” when it happens instead of beating yourself up about it. You are human. We are not designed to be perfect robots … nor do I ever want to be.
The other important half of this puzzle is forgiveness. Allow yourself to feel your emotion, recognise it and sit with it for a while and then allow yourself to let it go and move forward sistah! Holding on to anger or guilt not only prevents you from living the life of your dreams but it can also be damaging to your health. Your past is just that. It does not define who you are – you do!
Take some time out for you and you only. Put it in your diary and commit to it like you would any other meeting or appointment. Take the time out to allow yourself to just be present and in the moment. Allowing time just for yourself is amazing for the soul and is a beautiful way to re-energize yourself for the week ahead.
This is the time to do something for yourself because you love to do it and for no other reason. It could be visiting your special place and sitting in the peace and quiet, it could be reading a book, taking yourself out for breakfast, attending a yoga or dance class, or indulging in a bubble bath with a glass of vino! Whatever it is make it a date and enjoy yourself.
Sing it lovers … respect, find out what it means to me! This one is about self-respect. In order to improve your self-love we must learn to treat ourselves with the respect that we would expect from others.
This was pointed out to me by my beautiful man who is ever so patient and understanding with me when I fail to love myself. One day (during a self-loathing day) lets face it we all have em’. I was getting changed for an event we were attending and as I looked in the mirror I made a statement that started with profanity and then followed by something like… “ I’m so gross. I don’t know why you would want to be with me?” And he responded with “You are right.”
Shocking I know – but read on there is a method to his madness.
After I stood there in disbelief fighting back the tears in my eyes he grabbed by hands and sat me down … he explained that for the past X amount of time (albeit years) all he had heard from me is how awful I am, and how i wasn’t deserving or good enough for him. All of this was coming from my own mouth. It didn’t matter how many times he had told me that I was beautiful, I looked gorgeous, I was smart, or how amazing I was – I didn’t believe it. He then went on to tell me that until I started to believe it myself, how could he?
He explained that if I were a complete stranger and I had been talking to someone about myself, just as I talk to myself every day, they would have a pretty negative picture of who I was without even meeting me. How could i expect the world to offer me greatness if i didn’t see the greatness within?
The TRUTH hurt but I swallowed my big piece of humble pie and I started to re-address the way I spoke to myself and about myself. It was a long and bumpy road, in-fact it still is sometimes.
I started practicing being kinder to myself. I delved deep to figure out why i didn’t believe i was worthy or deserving of such a beautiful love in my life. I stopped the trash talk in front of my man. I started to graciously accept a compliment without deflection. I started to celebrate my strengths and nurture my weaknesses.
The truth is lovers, if you want to be treated with kindness, compassion, understanding and respect, then you must lead the way and respect yourself first. Lead by example and allow others to love you! You are worth it!
This Valentine’s Day lovers I want you to spoil yourself. Shower yourself with self-love and see the amazing beautiful soul that we all see!